On Authenticity
This post is about today’s webinar (sign up here), starting at 12 pm Central. It will be posted on our Facebook & YouTube pages afterward.
In the couple of years after Hurricane Katrina, I got super sick. To the point where the agency I worked for tried to get me to retire on disability. I didn't, but it was bad. I don't talk about it very often, because it sucked.
It was a life changer.
I was carrying the weight of a couple of catastrophes and a big disaster. Katrina. 9/11. The 2003 fires in California.
A fire chief friend of mine pointed me to some spiritual work. That work pointed me to life coaching. Both led me to a transformation in how I approached my life.
One of the biggest messages I got through the entire process was about being authentic with people.
Being vulnerable. Being present. And being authentic.
Truly connecting with people even in a short moment by being authentic.
Took me a while to get the hang of it. Transformational stuff doesn't usually happen overnight.
I worked in a place that was very intense. We were super stressed out because a bunch of the things we were supposed to be doing in response to big disasters weren't working. One of my people from then has been in the path of this week's hurricane.
We were trying to do a lot of really big things. Lots of moving pieces and parts. Huge organizations pushing against each other. Big politics. Big personalities.
In the middle of all of that swirling pressure, I started finding my grounding in connecting with humans. Being actually authentic.
Looking people in the eye. Seeing them where they were. Meeting them where I was. I did it on the subway. At the Starbucks. In government meetings. I became a better listener. I became a better me. Always with room for improvement, but way better.
Eventually I got training to be a coach, too. I left government. I think I've left disaster work, but you never know.
Through all of that, I met some absolutely phenomenal people.
And I realized some of the people I already knew had been doing this for my entire life. A couple of grandparents, in particular. It was a gift.
But it's not unattainable. Any one of us can make choices about being authentic. About meeting people where they are. About being vulnerable. About sharing.
About connecting with people.
Also, about loving people.
I often say that we need to look after people. We need to look after humans.
This is the stuff. Sometimes it's as basic as meeting people where they are. Letting your own guard down enough to do that.
It's harder than it looks.
When I started being truly authentic, I did a lot of crying.
Mostly because so many of the people I ended up connecting with once I put my guard down blew me away.
That's a lot of why it's harder than it looks.
Being truly vulnerable and letting your guard down and allowing connection is wicked powerful. It takes strength. A lot of folks shy away from it.
Sometimes we need to. But sometimes it's not serving us.
How much richer and deeper would our lives be if we were more open to authentically connecting with people?
Fast forward to 2018.
It was not long after the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas in Florida.
I had MSNBC on, and they interviewed a guy who had gone viral with his story about almost having become an active shooter.
He didn't, because someone met him where he was. Someone looked after him. Someone treated him like a human.
His name is Aaron Stark. I sent him a friend request while I was crying watching his interview.
I have very rarely seen anyone be so authentic out in public.
It resonates. One of his videos since then has 14.5 million views. Lots of people appreciate that kind of authenticity. Plus his story is powerful all around.
Aaron and I have planned phone calls over the years since, but never pulled it off.
We're doing our first conversation on video (and not by text) in an hour. Anyone can join in, and ask any question. Or catch it after on our Facebook & YouTube pages.
The work that I've been pushing for a few years and finally am getting up and running depends a lot on connecting with humans. It's all about that.
I think it's a huge part of how we can go about making change up in this country, and at scale.
It starts with our humanity. It starts with seeing humans where we are. It starts with being able to connect with people in real ways.
So we're starting our fall video conversation thingies with a conversation about exactly this. Being human. Connecting authentically.
And that's just the start. Aaron's story will blow you away if you haven't heard it before.
I end with this line from the movie an American President...
"We've got big problems in this country. We need good people to solve them."
We get it done by finding each other and getting connected. Meeting each other where we are.
And then we get shift going. We can, and we will.