I Finally Cried
This was originally posted on Facebook on May 3, 2022 in reaction to the leaked Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v. Wade.
I finally cried. I didn't know that I would.
I'm not big on the crying, either. Usually I have more of an edge. That's how it comes out - the rage. The absolute frustration and trauma of being a woman on this planet. It usually comes out as an edge. An abrasiveness.
I've had a weird sense of calm since last night, in front of my rage, since I fully expected this Supreme Court decision in June.
Then I switched into action since I was working on a non-profit anyway to be ready for this moment. We're days from launch (take #47). So I have a freaking ton to do and I so set about doing it... just with more rigour.
But the rage hit me this afternoon. Big time.
This morning I talked to a couple of women who remember what it was like before the decision was made in '73. I knew they would have the rage. They did.
One of them told me stories of how she remembered her friends having a church help them get to another state to have abortions. The fear. The danger. The super complicated effort.
I was born exactly one month after Roe vs. Wade.
One month.
It's been a thing for my entire life.
Even as I've heard stories from the women I've known about how hard it was for them to get their own checking accounts in the 70s.
How hard it was for them to buy a house on their own as a single woman, or as a divorced woman.
Hell, I knew the first woman wildland firefighter.
I've had my own damn fights as a woman. But they built on those who came before. Absolutely.
So here we are.
I don't even know what to say.
I've got the rage but I've also got all the feels, apparently. Once I started crying apparently it's opened some sort of gate. And I hate it when people say "the feels," but here I am. I don't like being openly emotional, either.
Yet it's time.
I'm convinced that we fight this abomination of law by mobilizing the majority in this damn country.
I'm absolutely convinced of that.
I think that we need to help people feel empowered, to be like cheerleaders, to get Democrats to freaking advocate and fight for more stuff - to stand up for what's right... and stop giving all the moral territory to Republicans.
I think we fight this also by driving the narrative. By getting media coverage. Everywhere. A lot of it.
And that means we have to share our stories. Not just the ones about women having rights or having had rights, and the life that we've had or not had because of it.
All the damn stories. Heartbreak and assault and trauma and protective orders and failed protection and joy and kids or not kids and careers and choices and amazing connections and relationships and lives and the kinds of lives we want to live.
All of it.
We're going to have to get uncomfortable.
We're going to have to do sh*t that we don't want to do.
I heard someone say today that the question of this moment might be whether we're up for democracy.
I think it was right.
I am. I'd like to keep it - democracy. It's been reasonably nice-ish. Needs improvement, but better than the alternative.
This day freaking bloody sucks. All of this.
But I'm not giving my power over. I hope you are not, either.
I hope we've got a bunch of damn fighters here. Because it's time for that. It's absolutely time.
Keep the faith. We've got shift we can do.